How To Be 'Cool'

1. Buy some sunglasses

2. Buy a leather jacket

3. Buy some hair gel

4. Wear sunglasses, put on leather jacket, apply hair gel (spiked style).

5. Then proceed to be "Cool".

Some Cool Phrases:

"Hey Daddy-o"

"I may not be Fred Flintstone. But I can sure make your bed rock!"

"Sweet!"

Funny Random Sayings

* "Whenever you feel you are alone, sad and have lost every single thing in this life, reassure yourself by thinking that you were the one to beat a million of enemies and cross the line of victory!" - Anonymous

* "If God is so smart, how come he is dead." - Homer Simpson

* "Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?" - Lily Tomlin

* "A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution? I sent them to her dad." - Christopher Case

* "A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. "You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have kill you too." - Jake Johansen

* "Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?" - Jon Stewart

* "When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other." - Rita Rudner

* "Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease." - Bill Maher

* "I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it." - Steven Wright

* "And always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said, 'Shit! A truck!' " - Emo Phillips