Com 155 Week Nine Final Assignment

Using sentence variety and rhythm in your writing will help the information provided flow more naturally and strengthen the topic. After reviewing paragraphs one and two, it was clear that paragraph two was better written. The paragraph clearly discussed the situation at hand, had strong supporting evidence, was not repetitive, and contained correct punctuation. The sentences were very well structured and provided a wide vocabulary. This piece switched the sentences up a bit by putting “in addition” at the beginning of the sentence, which makes the reading more interesting, and helps keep the readers focused. Paragraph one contained several short sentences that made the paragraph seem somewhat awkward. The word choices used in this paragraph were very bland and made the reading rather boring. In addition, the sentences were very choppy; I did not want to finish the reading because it was so poorly written. Reading paragraphs containing sentence variety and rhythm makes it more enjoyable to read, it keeps the reader interested, and helps the reader to know that you are educated in what you are writing about.

The feedback I received from WritePoint is effective. WritePoint clearly stated with helpful suggestion, and assisted with making my paragraphs makes more sense. I need to use an active voice to make the sentence clearer, but in my paragraph I am writing about something that happen already so I think it is fine that it is in a passive voice. WritePoint also indicated wordiness, avoid word gimmicks, and check punctuation or grammar. The feedback helped me correct these errors. The one phrase I was unsure of removing was, “there was.” Write point explained that “there” was not a location. However, I didn’t know if I should reword the phrase because I speak the phrase often enough that it has become everyday normal speech. I understand that it can bring confusion in some instances, but I don’t think it implies in the way I wrote it. I chose to change...